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01:59 am
[Link] | leave it to my friends for terrorizing boston. gotta love burners.
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05:25 pm
[Link] | I'm so bored. I went through my numbers to maybe see people, but i realized that 3/4 of my numbers are all nyers. I wish I weren't being held captive here until saturday....hopefully it will all go by quickly.
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08:40 pm
[Link] | Make a list of 10 things you hate or dislike. If you reply to this meme, I will give you a letter and you can write your own list of 10 things you dislike.
I got T
1. Turds- when drunk people don't make them in the toilette at Dives
2. Tampons, bloody ones
3. The T
4. Tofu dogs
5. Testicles (the word)
6. T-tests (teberculosis)
7. Tummy aches
8. Thirty degree weather
9. Twenty degree weather
10.Ten degree weather
Comment and I will give you a letter.
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11:43 pm
[Link] | Today during 5 Rythms jewels came up to me during the slow part when I was sitting down and moved my bangs and kissed my forehead. I felt depressed beforehand, but somehow her gesture made everything better.
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12:52 pm
[Link] | My update.
In general, i've been really good. I got an A on my term project for buying and I guess school is really turning around. I am trying hard to pull it all together, and really excited about it ending. I am hoping December holds better things than November, but then again, how could it not. I had a really nice weekend. Saturday I went shopping with annie then met rachel and her friend for dinner then hewitt for $20 drinks at the Mandrin Oriental Hotel. Afterwards we went to the chemistry party, which was nice. I really had a ton of fun. All of my friends there were really supportive and chose to buy me drinks to "celebrate". Afterwards Annie, Preston and others and I went to WInkles for an awesome party. One of my roomates met up with us and we got home at 7. I slept till three then my roomate and I went for chinese food and ice cream and watched the office and top chef all night. I made notecards for my exam. Yesterday I went to work, it was nice. Dana was telling us how he told donald trump that he couldnt sit with him and MJ. Afterwards annie came for dinner and I cut her hair. I did a really good job. I studied more for my exam and procrastinated around. This morning was an early morning and I met my partner to work on our presntation, gave the presentation, and now i am sitting around before my MS meeting and my exam. It will be nice to get away. My mom said I don't have to see anyone when I get home to Boston and we can just go to the movies and watch old home videos. I don't know why I bother with this livejournal. Over the years it's always seemed to be more trouble than it's worth.
I've learned a lot lately. I'm really impulsive. I need to stop acting on my impulses and be more patient. Not jump to so many conclusions.
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11:36 pm
[Link] | I've been so amazing lately that it's concerning...woah!
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06:28 am
[Link] | DUDE FUCKING AWESOME NIGHT
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12:16 pm
[Link] | The worst part is that I lost my best friend.
The 324 party went really well. My friend aaron came over and set up my new mixer. I swa some good friends. Before hand I went over to Mikes and Laura was there, she left and Mike and I spooned for a bit. Aaron stayed over, but nothing happened, which was also night. Annie is coming over and we may go shopping. I was going to go to open studio, but I'm not sure it's the right time.
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12:52 am
[Link] | I'm drunk and it hurts. theres a party at my place and every guy is hitting on me and i hate it.
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05:33 pm
[Link] | Today my coworker mona said she isnt worried about me in regards to waht happened because she sincerely believes im a strong person. Allegra agrreed and made me tea. In the last few hours I;ve got tons of phone calls and texts. Mona's right, whatever happens I am going to get through it because I have an amazing support system from my friends. I have people in four states pulling for me. Tonght 324 is having a party. And its goin to be alright because I have 9 awesome roomates supporting me. No matter where I go I have support. I know that at any hour of the day I can call someone and it will all be ok.
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11:46 pm
[Link] | The first time you told me you loved me was almost two years ago. We were on the bus home. You said nobody has ever cared about you like I did.
That's still probably true.
But apparently having sex with someone you dont know exsists means more to you than that. And that's sad. I don't deserve that. I am not coming second, ever.
If you want intamacy with someone else, then take it. But don't call me.
I'm tired of feeling like shit because of you and I'm tired of you wanting fictious sex. I'm tired of you making me feel like im not good enough and im tired of putting in 100 percent verses your 10. I don't deserve this, and I'm tired of fighting. And I hate how nothing is ever clear. Because YOU leave in the middle of a conversation.
"'I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."
"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting,
challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."
sex and the city
Fuck this, I have a twelve pack of batteries.
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11:03 pm
[Link] | Sex really does ruin everything.
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10:42 pm
[Link] | time goes by so quickly. I get home and suddnely its 11 pm. Free time what?
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01:45 pm
[Link] | I'm having trouble leaving my bed today. It's so warm
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03:11 am
[Link] | Went to sushi with Zek. Then we went to a bar and ran into two people he knew, including a girl my age. She was really cool and we exchanged numbers. I felt generally disinterested in any sorts of conversation though and made an excuse to go home. I felt like instead of cheering me up, they all made me more depressed. Not depressed...that's not the right word. Sad. Anyway, I have vowed to myself to get better with substances and while all three of them were cheering me on to drink my sorrows away I had a small mixed drink and no more. I just felt like going home and reading. I borrowed a book from Matt, my roomate and plan to read myself to bed. I'm really excited about bettering myself. I was talking to Zek about his interests- the woman asked me what my hobbys and interests are and I had nothing to tell her- and then I realzied that the only thing I really like is making things. I really adore my Jewelry design class and doing other crafts. I think i might come in saturday for open studio to work on things and get serious about that as well as other classes. My jewelry design class just makes me so tranquil and at peace with myself. It's all really going to happen this time, I know it.
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03:19 pm
[Link] | Rather, things may be over.
I went the the counciling center today after my first class and it really helped me a lot. She's a burner/ has burner experience and as she says "has done every drug there is to do" so it's really easy to talk to her.. She says I need to cut back on my stuff and we're going to meet for awhile to sort things through. She thinks that because of hallucinations I percieve things in a different way whether I realize it or not. She also said that I could if i want continue with the scene but I'd have to learn to set boundries and get my friends to accept and respect my bounderies. I'd also have to learn how to handle the scene- ie change the way that it effects me. That's probably how some people can last really long in it and be real people. I feel a lot better, really.
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02:50 am
[Link] | it's over and I'm crushed.
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09:12 pm
[Link] |
Worst week ever
this is the worst week ever. I fought with the person I heart and nearly lost him. I got a 60 dollar ticket by some dumb po's, school sucks, i got sick, my teacher said he was dissapointed in me, i freaked out at a party and had to leave early, I fell asleep on my friends knee at 930 pm friday, I cried all weekend, I had to go to bklyn because of a mistake and the trains werent running so it took forever, I was up all night each week. I admitted I have a problem.
There's more and I don't want to talk about it.
I'm going to see the counciler at school tuesday.
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02:05 am
[Link] | i am absolutely falling apart.
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03:29 am
[Link] | I miss my boobycat
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chickacherrykol's journal